Hello! Happy first day of Spring! (Is that day today or was that yesterday?) See how well, I know my days? anyways, hey there! ;] It’s been an absolute hot minute since I’ve posted on the blog (epic fail). But, I guess you can say, my overflowing schedule has finally burned me out! And, I’m shamelessly here to share with you, my meltdown moment (Mom edition)!
Today, was one of those days when I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. TBH, my life isn’t always rainbows & butterflies – (Shocker, I know). I like to think My life is a good mix of chaos & glitter vomit. (I still have to be a little extra!) It may always seem like I have it “altogether” but, let’s kick the BS to the side and speak the truth, shall we? Let’s be real, 9 times out of 10 I call my kid the wrong name & don’t even get me started on getting their birthdays correct. (Epic Brain Fog).
I’m not a “SuperMom” or the “Perfect” Wife nor are my Husband and I a ”Power Couple”. We aren’t perfect, FAR from it. I just try & embrace my chaos to the best that I can. And, it includes having a healthy breakdown (or two). And, I know as Individuals we all have our own personal chaos we embrace, along with balancing our Families too! It can be a lot.
Ain’t that something, dealing with your own self as well as other people’s can be a lot to carry. And, if you’re anything like me, where you’re similar to the energizer bunny, there’s NO stopping or NO days off. Just being constantly busy until you completely have a burn-out or meltdown. I had several meltdowns this week. (sigh). My body was feeling the stress, my face looked exhausted and haggard. My anxiety was worse than getting a paper cut in the webbing between your fingers (and, those hurt badly!). I was just a mess. See, I do SO much that I fear if I stop at any given moment that everything around me, falls apart. When in reality everything will be ok (technically, things might not get done or function) but, it will be okay. But, when I sit back and reflect– was it worth driving myself to pure exhaustion? All because I didn’t pause and take time for myself. No, it wasn’t. (#noregerts) — Yes, I misspelled that on purpose. ;]
Poor Ric had to feel the wrath of my meltdown. But, he knew just how tired and drained I’ve been as a ”SAHM”. First things first, never underestimate a ”stay-at-home” Parent! They work just as equally hard as the other half who does their 9-5! I’m glad Ric sees that I do a whole list of things so our daily routine is functioning.
“Multiple people today mentioned how busy my wife and I have become; they commented how they’re amazed that we are somehow sane. I gotta admit, I’m blessed Pinky keeps us on track with our crazy schedules. Without her I’d be lost and our family would be in one hell of a mess.
She helps me care for my 90 year old grandfather, homeschools my son, gets my other son from school, does all homework with them, does workbooks with my daughter, manages our home, does all hockey and figuree skating classes/practices/jamborees/games, finds time to volunteer, works full-time from home and MORE! She makes my 49.5 hr work weeks look like child’s play haha
“How do you do it?” They ask.
My answer: i couldn’t do it without her.” – Ric
See, I’m not as graceful as it seems (the internet can play you like that) although, Ric’s words are truer than true: TBH, I have my cry sessions, wine days & impromptu karaoke/dance sesh’s. More so, as I’ve previously mentioned in another post, I’ve recently given my faith another go around & give myself my “me” time at the church. I say a lot of prayers (sometimes blast a plethora of praise & worship music) or blast music that gives me the absolute feels (thank you, Adele, Demi Lovato & Sam Smith). I tend to drink a lot of red bull & coffee to function (no worries, I also keep up with my water intake). I run mostly off of phone alarms and the family calendar reminders.
I know for me it’s all my responsibilities: which entails working from home/the hospital & running the blog, as well as managing the family/kids schedules), etc. that sometimes makes me baffled at how it’s possible to fit so many things in a 24-hour span!
And, most importantly, I say this all the time (I’ll happily give credit where credit is due)— I’m grateful I have a “village” of people who help me when they can (you guys know who you are). I’m blessed in that sense when I need a breather (or seven), or sometimes just 10 minutes of extra sleep: I have my Family, close friends and of course our Nanny who love & help care for SSK when they’re available! (Mind you they also take care of me too when I forget to take care of myself). #grateful
I’m also thankful that I have a partner who sees my efforts & appreciates our chaos (no matter how INSANE it gets). I know Ric works long hours (in which I appreciate his hustle to provide), he does miss a lot of things, but, I know he tries his absolute best & is very hands-on when he is off & with the kids! Idk, how we make anything work. But, we are (kind of).
Anyways, before this becomes a longer novel I guess what I’m trying to say is, embrace your chaos, find your peace when necessary. And, most importantly, Be kind to one another. Sometimes people put a good smile on their face, but, you never know what a person is dealing with until you’ve walked in their shoes (or Christian Louboutin’s) — sorry, had to be extra. And, as a GF reminded me today – the advice that I took: ”let the laundry pile up, its okay to miss a practice or game. Take care of you, first.”